PART TWO: And I thought that because my family was poor, and broken, and not strong in the church the whole time, I could never TRULY be good enough. I felt surrounded by "molly mormons". I was also a little more liberal than most mormons I knew (supportive of LGBT, didn't agree church racism, sexism etc) so I feel astray for almost 5 years. I regret it more than anything. I still haven't returned to church but I am so lonely and lost without that pillar of truth. I don't know if it's all true.
Thank you so much!! It is so nice to hear these things, I didn’t think there were many other members like me!! I will push on. Your third message wasn’t anonymous (probably by accident), so I’m editing it into here for you so others can hear your full story and you can stay anonymous:
"PART THREE: But it was good for me and it felt like home. I miss feeling so spiritually calm on the inside. I don’t get that feeling anywhere else. My heart breaks when I think about the years I’ve missed out on being inactive. I lost touch with my mormon best friends. They’re all moved on and married and happy. I know it gets hard sometimes. But please don’t give up. I would give anything to go back. But I just watched your "Don’t look back" video and it’s giving me hope. I want to go back :)"